Not To Go All Schoolyard On You, But You Hit Me First

Current Music:	Falling Down -scarlett johansson
Current Location:	Room 210
Subject:	Now &&&
Time:	10:05 am
Current Mood:	calm

So, Theres not really much to talk about. Not these days anyway,

Friends = Hah. same old bitches they've always been (go figure)
Boys = They Suck!
Family = Gah, Totally irritating

But all in all i can't complain I've accepted things. some people will treat you like shit and backstab you for no reason at all. Just gotta learn to live with it and move on. Family , dissapointment now that was always something i've been used to. Boys i don't even know anymore lol. Things in life are always gonna be complicated and i guess i can learn to deal with that. Once i get to leave this town i'll be all set. It's not like the people here really matter i mean once im gone i'm like never gonna see them again. So why waste my time? I used to be so upset about this kinda stuff because well i wanted to grow up and be able to tell my kids how great life was in highschool, the parties, the boys, the drama. I wanted to be able to look back and say even with all the bad stuff they were the happiest days of my life. That's never gonna happen, Not in this life time anyway. Ever since i was little i was drawn to fairy tales, i blame my parents and Disney. haha. They come up with all this bullshit baout happy endings and it conditions you, It's a stupid constructed reality. Life doesn't work that way, i wish it did. I've learned that all fairy tales tell a lie. So i've given up on them i've decided instead of being surprised by diassapointment i'm gonna take it head on, at least that way i believe in something real, something that is there, No more dreaming of my perfect fantasy. So now im just gonna have to put my fake smile on so my family still believes im the old me, what they dont know will never hurt them, right?

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May 14th, 2008

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